Is brain storming really helpful? Is it still the thing you do before writing a huge paper? Well it is something I do before stepping out of my bubble! I still make the pros and cons lists, I still ball up the papers that are going in the wrong direction, and I still sharpen my pencil until it hits the eraser!
I ask myself what still can make me do this? What still makes me this stressed out.. I have no papers to write, I have no projects to make! I have a heart which knows what it wants but a mind that is scared to listen to my heart... I know I want to spill my heart out, but I am afraid of rejection!!!
Looking back on things... People always ask do you regret anything? and I always answer no, but that is not true! I have regretted the day after my first performance.. (side note: I was a bad ass Rizzo!) I regret not giving him a chance, I regret thinking I was better off with the one older than me.. I regret not stepping out and giving him a chance.. Later on, after growing up a little, I realized he was amazing, sweetheart, and treated me like an angel! I regret that I could have had him from the beginning..
After College or hitting my adult age... It has come to him being the first one I think about in the morning, last one I think about before going to sleep, I wonder what he is doing, and I wonder why he can not see I want to be with him... I want to make the jump! I want to pop my bubble, break the brainstorming, stop the tree killing, and stop the pencil sharpening.. I want to live in the moment! I want to live the moment with him! I want him to know I am here for him, I want him to be my "Lucas", my "Nathan", or another words I want him to be MINE!!!
Live, Laugh, Love,
Tif
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