ZebrA caKes

I ponder if I'm making the right decisions.. The feeling when we are together is one I cannot put into words. The way you treat me is different from others. You have touched my heart in ways I cannot explain..my heart skips a beat when I see you and races when I'm not with you... I love how you allow me to be, I love how you have a passion for something and not afraid to show it!

I long for the feeling of knowing I'm the only one on your mind.. I long for the feeling when I am worth enough so you to be proud to call me yours... I long for not being scared to show you how I truly feel.. I long for the way things use to be...

Are these things I should wait for to change? Or are these these "red flags" and I need to get out no matter how badly it will hurt me and my heart...

Do I deserve the person who wants to be with me and has no doubts? Or can I hang a long a little bit longer for you to realize I am what you want.. Do I walk away and follow the famous quote "you don't know what you have until you don't have it anymore" or leave and "if it is meant to be it will"

I feel like this is a lose lose situation.. I lose for caring so much and I lose because your not ready..

I lose if I walk away, bc I lose my best friend!

Man, that felt good to get out!

Live Laugh LOVE
-tif

It's a hard not life!

They always say life's greener on the other side... Is it really true?

I'm getting curve balls thrown at me from all over- any pitcher knows me As a hitter I'll let it go or foul it off...

But can you really foul off things in real life? I feel like everything is falling apart, one step at a time slowly but surely..

Work- getting accused of things I never did, making up stories to make themselves feel better, (my health can't take the high school shit)

Life- if it doesn't kill me it makes me stronger! Too fast too fast- I'm trying, I'm learning to grow with u and for u.. I'm stressing to be perfect, but I'm not sure that's what u want! U want me- but I can't find the true me anymore .. Is it bc of my stress at work?

I'm ready for a change in my life which allows it to be u and me! Allows us to grow, allows us to put the past behind us and move on with each other

Guess what I'm saying is I'm older now, better hitter and ready to attack the curve balls! PICKING MY BATTLES!

Bath tub!

This is the place I feel most comfortable! I'm not afraid, I let it all out, I even talk to myself hoping one day it will respond! The bath tub allows me to be myself and analyze all options for careers, relationships, and anything else that may occur..

As, I sit in the bath tub- I wonder if I should continue like this? Things are hard to explain! I care for him, I'm attracted to him, I even love him! We get along so well, but friendships are my comfort zones! Like the bubbles in my bath! Its not a bath tub with out them! And I'm not me without my friends! But I want more! I want to trust him! I want him to only want me-

Part of me feels like that will never happen! Maybe one day he will realize I'm worth it!! Maybe one day he will be ok admitting he has a GF and not a best friend!

Hopefully soon bc im ready for the real thing and nothing less!